What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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