I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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