so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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