4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
