If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am available for nakedness
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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