I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
