what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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