yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
