yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
