just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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