Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
