dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
well, you know. whores of a feather.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
