why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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