i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize