did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
