I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize