my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
