I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
