we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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