I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
