I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
