scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
