it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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