Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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