We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
