Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
