..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
