Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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