you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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