whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
