I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
did i walk over a car last night?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
