I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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