Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
