I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Sorry my hands just texted you
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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