Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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