so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
