weddingsv make me drug and hornr
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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