i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
