whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
