why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize