marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
