Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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