I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
