Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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