you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize