I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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