That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
