Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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