Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
high people should be assigned attendants
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
