My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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