a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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