HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
