so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
as a side note pls kill me
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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