she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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