He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
