Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
