I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
