To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
