TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
