shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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