Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
