i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
