Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize