They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
