She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
